Category: Raw

Raw

Today is…

FanTC

Today is the International Day of Happiness. In the States, we are often reminded and led along by the “pursuit of happiness,” but as Mark Twain put it, happiness is simply a contrast to the negative. Without experiencing sadness or misery, you cannot possibly know what happiness feels like – or appreciate it.

I think we’ve all been through a lot in just the past two weeks. There were some steep valleys we had to descend through. Many of you are likely still tumbling down the valley with all these business closures and layoffs. Take heart. This can’t be the end yet. You’re still here, after all. There is breath in your lungs and life in your limbs. Turn your chin up, trudge mightily through this deep, deep valley, and remind yourself…

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

― John Lennon

 

This has been,

Fanny T. Crispin

Raw

Covid-19 – The Great Quarantine

FanTC

The Corona Virus didn’t show up on my personal radar until the beginning of March 2020. Honestly, I don’t recall any discussions about it prior to March. But it very quickly became an all-consuming topic.

The details were changing so quickly. By Monday, March 9th, people were starting to take it seriously, but there was still a sense of scoffing when Covid-19 came up in discussion. Most of us just didn’t know what to think of it. If you’re anything like me, you don’t follow news media consistently. You rely heavily on social discussions at work or among friends and family.

By Tuesday, March 10th, things were starting to heat up. My husband and I go back and forth, because we want to see THE social media post which sparked the GREAT HORDING OF TP (Toilet Paper.) Seriously, guys. Can someone explain this to me? Toilet paper? I don’t get it.

Wednesday, March 11th – My supervisor at work went around to each teammate. “We’re just gathering data at this point. Do you think you would be able to work from home?” Computer monitor – check. Internet – check. Keyboard – check.

Thursday, March 12th – News press releases. Talk of schools shutting down. Sports arenas across the nation are cancelling.

Friday, March 13th –

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Hubby and I went grocery shopping and, yes, we stocked up on pantry items. There’s no shame in being responsible. We may have taken pictures of the TP aisle and laughed like fool teenagers. Not gonna lie.

Saturday and Sunday – We lay low.

What a lie. We went out and partied for St Patrick’s Day celebrations since all the parades were cancelled, and THEN we lay low.

Monday, March 16th – It was a big push to get everyone out of the office with equipment. There were no more logistics, it was just “pack up and leave.” By the end of my shift, I was headed home with all of my computer necessities. It was a bit of a struggle trying to get the VPN connection. And I bought a 75 foot ethernet cable for my 25 foot house… Anyone need extra cable?

Now it’s TUESDAY, MARCH 17TH – It’s much quieter. I’m at home with no news updates from my coworkers. I’m blogging on my break to keep my lovely readers up-to-date on yours truly. I’ll post more often and scatter my usual posts in between.

 

Stay safe. Stay healthy. Wash your hands. Comment if you’re alive and well. (Forgive the typos. I normally proofread.)

This has been,

Fanny T. Crispin

Raw, Thoughts

Thursdays Aren’t for Everyone

FanTC

It’s an interesting observation the reactions the general public has to Thursdays. Much of the time, they are elated. The work week is almost over, and the weekend is in sight. But there are Thursdays enough when people become tight,…moody,…and slightly unhinged.

It’s almost as if Monday swings around for a final pass at us and tips the pot for extra measure.

It’s a funny – funny being used here to mean odd, unsettling, even irritable – experience when one attempts to lighten the room with humor and cheer, only to be completely shunned by the occupants. Let’s be clear that I did not know these occupants, and they didn’t know me. But after dealing with a morning of woke-up-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-bed, I was determined to turn the afternoon around. Monday/Thursday determined otherwise and created a most awkward environment when the said occupants not only completely ignored my comments and lightheartedness, but then proceeded to stare at me as if I were an alien, and they couldn’t believe I had dared speak to them at all.

It was a very Monday/Thursday indeed, and I have nothing else to add, except to say “Thank God it’s over.”

This has been,

FanTC

Ponderings, Raw, Thoughts

What’s in a Number?

FanTC

I’m going to be 29 this year.

I’m not where I expected myself to be.

Truth be told, I should have had at least two kids by now. I should be conducting my own house by now. My husband and I shouldn’t still be squabbling over the dishes, because we should have figured it out by now. But I’m realizing, I’m not as old as I thought I would be by now…

When you’re a kid, 30 seems astronomically old. Everyone talks about this “internal biological clock,” and you start to feel fear over something you don’t yet understand. What I’m beginning to understand is this biological clock is really based more on how old you feel. I’m being perfectly serious. The doctors can’t dictate when you’re ready to be a mother or father. They base their entire system off averages and statistics, but statistics mean nothing to the individual. I personally know women (plural) who had perfectly healthy babies in their 40’s.

Maybe things didn’t happen the way you planned when you were twelve and dreaming up your life. So what? We are in the here and now.

And that is a miracle.

This has been,

FanTC

Raw

When You’re Waiting

FanTC

And now my Amazon suggestions all feature baby and nursery related items. Thanks, Moment of Baby Fever. Thanks for that.

We’re waiting because we choose to wait – together in mutual agreement. That doesn’t negate the feelings I sometimes get, whether you call it baby fever, mothering, nesting, God’s call to motherhood – pick a title. They all basically mean the same thing.

Most of the time it’s really easy to wait. GW and I have only been married a year and are enjoying togetherness. We take vacations and go on trips, we eat at fancy restaurants – you know, in peace and quiet, no distractions, no embarrassments, no screaming monsters of adorableness…

But sometimes it sneaks up on me. I visit my friends who are moms or grammoms and snuggle their wittle bundles of adorableness. People tell me “You’re a natural!” “Is this a sign, hmm?” “Careful! Babies are contagious!” *Hint, hint; wink, wink; elbow, elbow*

And sometimes I go on Amazon stocking up my baby wishlist. Because, yes, we’re waiting, and I’m good with that. But I still have feelings.

This has been,

Fanny T. Crispin