Raw

I Quit

Quit. Give up. Fail. Walk away.

All of those. I am feeling all of it.

After a year debating with my fiance about the future, I finally decided to leave the salon. It is something that has been building for awhile. The slow realization that I don’t want to do this the rest of my life.

I have been working at the same family-owned salon for six years. We have celebrated birthdays together, weddings, babies being born. We have rejoiced in triumphs, shared in sorrow. My coworker Linda is a second mom to me. I go to her with everything – and I do mean everything. 

Maybe you can imagine my conflict right now. Maybe you can’t. It’s not like I’m leaving because I hate my boss or can’t get along with my coworkers. It’s not because I am no longer physically able to do the job. It’s just life.

When life moves, you move with it – whether you like it or not.

I’m getting married next year. We don’t even know where we’re going to live yet, but I need to know that nothing is holding me back from God’s will. And there has been something brewing in the background for many years that I feel is finally coming into focus. Change is raising its scepter once again. Where it directs, I must go.

In January, my part-time job will become my full-time job. After we’re married, GW and I are going to look into colleges for me. I can see my path so clearly, it’s hard not to jump ahead and start the race. But I have to be patient. Too many things need to fall into place before the race can begin. I am going back to school for teaching. It’s something I have wanted for a very long time – before I became a hairstylist – but never had the courage to try.

I’m going to miss the salon. I’m going to miss the people (well, you know, most of them.) It’s not easy to give something up that you have spent six years building. This has been a labor of love and heartache just as much as any relationship. It’s hard to say goodbye.


I apologize. I don’t mean to be so mopey on the blog. But this is raw. This is real. For those of you who have been following me from the beginning, I want you to know it’s okay to put your life out there for others. It’s okay to show your struggle, because from that people will see your strength. The struggle is necessary, otherwise the strength never comes.

Championship weight-lifters aren’t born. Businesses don’t rise in a day. All of this takes time, and with time commitment, and from commitment perseverance.

So here we are, not just at a crossroad, but many paths splitting off in multiple directions. One step at a time will bring us to our goals. Never lose sight of them, because with diligence you can accomplish much.

This has been,

Fanny T. Crispin

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Raw

That Moment When…

…I realized this wedding was turning into one big costume project.

I’m sorry. I’ve got to vent.

A little backstory. My fiance loves making costumes. Halloween is his favorite holiday, but he’ll use any excuse to dress up. He’s very good at it. And he’s very anal.

Early in our relationship, I learned NOT to costume with him. He once stubbornly refused to budge on a detail so infinitesimal which nobody would see or care about, I literally sat for an hour in silence trying to wait him out, and finally made him sew the damn thing himself.

I apologize. I don’t usually use crass language. Please forgive me.

In his defense, he’s not like that about everything. Just costumes…

…and the wedding.

Now, I could throw a huge tantrum, turn on the water works, fight and scream my way, but I’m not like that. I’m not a bitch. I don’t want to get my way that way, and I really don’t want to make something as trivial as a wedding more important than my love and respect for him.

That being said, I am still frustrated. You may remember me saying I never wanted a wedding. Well, this is why.

Apparently, tradition is everything.

My fiance is completely hung up on tradition. He wants the cookie-cutter wedding. He wants to do everything everybody else is doing. And if I have an opinion or want to omit something, he has a freaking cow. He even asked me, “What is it about tradition that you don’t like?”

I told him. It’s not that I don’t like tradition. I do. It’s great – for other people. But remember, I never wanted a wedding, I wanted to elope. But I’m having a wedding. Fine.

Ideally, I would like to make it as comfortable and relaxed as possible. I wouldn’t stand for all the extra trappings that take up so much time (and money) at weddings. There would be a light, fun ceremony, good food, fun music, and time to chill, hang out, dance, and eat some blooming pie.

Oh, another thing.

I DON’T LIKE CAKE.

But he’s making me eat cake.

I could go on and on, folks, but at some point I need to look in the mirror and ask the hard question:

“Should I just swallow the cake or spit it out?”

This has been.

Fanny T. Crispin (aka Distressed Bride-to-be)

Writing Prompts

10 Deadly Habits – Part Five

Hello, adventurers!

It is time for another installment of those incredibly deadly habits we’ve been talking about. Honestly, I don’t know why I have been delaying so long since, clearly, this public health announcement is so dire.


Let’s get right down to it! Not another moment to waste. People’s lives need saving!

Strike = omit word(s)

(…) = add words

4. Properly distribute your meals
As a rule, you should have a habit of eating at least 3-4 hours before bedtime to help the digestive process function properly.

Again, there is nothing inherently wrong with this one. It reads fine, has no typos, and is quite accurate in its claim. But since we’re trying to educate the public, let’s do our research and site some sources.

4. Properly distribute your meals

It is a well-known fact that your digestive system slows down when you’re sleeping, so eating before bed can cause weight gain. An interesting site I found by the name of Science Alert has some pretty interesting words to say on the matter. However, it has also been discovered that certain foods can improve sleep. Tryptophan, an amino acid commonly found in many foods, actually helps produce serotonin, the hormone that aids in sleep. For a list of foods containing tryptophan and other melatonin boosting ingredients, check out The Greatest.


My fiance must make an over-abundance of seratonin… That man can fall asleep at the drop of a hat!

Now, please excuse me while I go buy some cherries. =D

This has been,

Fanny T. Crispin

 

Raw

Quit Interrupting!

A little raw. A little unhinged. A little squeaky wheel.


Every editor I have ever worked with has told me the same thing – to expound more on different subjects within my writing. Mostly that’s true of every writer, not including the wordy, long-winded, elaborate storytellers out there. Typically, writers are in their heads so much, they forget that their readers don’t know what they are talking about. They write under the assumption everybody already knows the key details of a story, such as the background, the world-building, or the character’s history.

So editors come in and cue us when something doesn’t add up. They offer crucial insight and ask the questions every reader asks.


Growing up, I was a publicly loud-mouthed child, which my blessed mother curbed quickly. However, all the women in my family are loud. They talk over each other. They interrupt when they feel they have something more important to say. Since I was the only one curbed, I learned to be patient, kind, and attentive. I stopped to let others speak. I listened through the full story. I did not interrupt.

Do you know how rude it is to interrupt and how frustrating it is to be interrupted? If people would listen half as well as they spoke, there would be far less hurt feelings and confusion. That’s a soap box for another time, but my point is clear:

STOP. LISTEN. SPEAK.

In that order.

I am mostly patient when someone interrupts me. However, if it is a repeated offense, that’s when I bite back, because then I know my conversation partner is not listening to me and does not care what I say. Even if it’s a boring story about someone’s day, at least I have the courtesy to hear it until the end. All I ask is for the same respect to be applied to me.


Often, I write with that same mentality. I’m so used to being interrupted, I tend to speak the quick, exciting, important parts of the story and leave out a lot of detail. Even my thoughts are so curbed to this short-hand route, that I will begin a blog and realize I have nothing to say on the matter. Therein lies my main issue. I’m not superfluous – which is good, I suppose. I get by with what I need. I write only what is necessary.

However, when working with fiction, sometimes people want the extras. They want to linger. They want to spend as many moments in that world as they can, because every reader knows the story will be over all too soon.


So what have I left you with, readers? The rambling complaints of a partial-introvert? An invitation to fill your books with pages and, on the pages, words? A message to listen?

This has been,

Fanny T. Crispin