Quit. Give up. Fail. Walk away.
All of those. I am feeling all of it.
After a year debating with my fiance about the future, I finally decided to leave the salon. It is something that has been building for awhile. The slow realization that I don’t want to do this the rest of my life.
I have been working at the same family-owned salon for six years. We have celebrated birthdays together, weddings, babies being born. We have rejoiced in triumphs, shared in sorrow. My coworker Linda is a second mom to me. I go to her with everything – and I do mean everything.
Maybe you can imagine my conflict right now. Maybe you can’t. It’s not like I’m leaving because I hate my boss or can’t get along with my coworkers. It’s not because I am no longer physically able to do the job. It’s just life.
When life moves, you move with it – whether you like it or not.
I’m getting married next year. We don’t even know where we’re going to live yet, but I need to know that nothing is holding me back from God’s will. And there has been something brewing in the background for many years that I feel is finally coming into focus. Change is raising its scepter once again. Where it directs, I must go.
In January, my part-time job will become my full-time job. After we’re married, GW and I are going to look into colleges for me. I can see my path so clearly, it’s hard not to jump ahead and start the race. But I have to be patient. Too many things need to fall into place before the race can begin. I am going back to school for teaching. It’s something I have wanted for a very long time – before I became a hairstylist – but never had the courage to try.
I’m going to miss the salon. I’m going to miss the people (well, you know, most of them.) It’s not easy to give something up that you have spent six years building. This has been a labor of love and heartache just as much as any relationship. It’s hard to say goodbye.
I apologize. I don’t mean to be so mopey on the blog. But this is raw. This is real. For those of you who have been following me from the beginning, I want you to know it’s okay to put your life out there for others. It’s okay to show your struggle, because from that people will see your strength. The struggle is necessary, otherwise the strength never comes.
Championship weight-lifters aren’t born. Businesses don’t rise in a day. All of this takes time, and with time commitment, and from commitment perseverance.
So here we are, not just at a crossroad, but many paths splitting off in multiple directions. One step at a time will bring us to our goals. Never lose sight of them, because with diligence you can accomplish much.
This has been,
Fanny T. Crispin