Stories From the Front Lines

Titled: “Lazy, Lying Piece-of-Work Teenagers”

Subtitled: “And the Stunts They Pull”

Ladies and gentlemen,

It’s no lie that retail can be ranked as one of the worst jobs around. Working with the public is never easy, but working with everything else involved in managing a store front can be taxing on the best of days.

Since accepting the position of supervisor, I’ve learned enough about upper management’s short-falls to make me sick. It’s akin to being a teacher in a classroom – unending responsibility and hardship, absolutely no control over the students or politics.

Here, I’ll begin to regale you with tales I like to call “Stories From the Front Lines,” because it’s here that I’ve discovered what it truly means to lead a team.

I’ve always been fortunate to enjoy and appreciate every manager I’ve ever worked for and with at Walgreens. The same cannot be said for teammates (back when I was a cashier, or front store crew now that I’m a supervisor.)

Managing people is no joyful task. In fact, I would go so far as to say it’s worse than babysitting for a family you dislike but don’t know how to say “no” to because you’re a 13 year old girl and always taught to respect your elders, even to the point of prostrating yourself as a doormat. (If you’re a parent of a 13 year old girl, please teach them how to say “no.” They desperately need this weapon in their arsenal.) If you’re a man reading this and can’t imagine yourself in the body of a 13 year old girl, just think about the first time your mate accidentally kicked you in the nuts. Now imagine getting kicked in the nuts for a week straight every month for the rest of your natural born life, because you’re 13 years old and you subconsciously think the world is going to end after highschool which seems an eternity away.

But I digress.

Guess what I found hiding by the trash compactor at work.
Last night’s cashier returns. You know, all the items customers bring to the register but don’t actually want and are too lazy to put back on the shelves themselves.
Yes. Those are the responsibility of the cashier to put away at the end of his/her shift.
Guess who closed last night.
“E” – the lovely new hire who is turning out to be the laziest lying piece-of-work teenager to date.
Oh, guess who she’s friends with.
“K” – the last lazy, lying piece-of-work teenager to grace our store.

Now, “K” has already pulled and perfected all these stunts that “E” is attempting. At least I can credit “K” with being unique. “E” is just a lazy copycat. And because we have already seen all these marvelous stunts, repercussions are going to come a lot swifter.

And trust me. I’ve been perfecting my techniques too.

Welcome to Walgreens. Here, you’ll always receive service with a smile. But underneath that facade of corporate perfection, nothing is ever as it seems.

This has been,

Fanny T. Crispin

Bristol & Cosplay


There’s something dark and political lingering over our favorite Renaissance faire in Kenosha, Wisconsin…

Opening day was beautiful and glorious. Beau and I did everything and nothing. We traveled time and dimensions without ever leaving 2018. We ate, drank, and played merry all the day. What could be more perfect than a day spent in bliss at the faire?

But there were many changes throughout the grounds, we soon discovered. Delightful changes like new vendors and cast members to entertain, new buildings for drink and leisure out of the hot sun, and also subtle changes which left us with more questions than answers.

One of our favorite Steampunk stores were no longer allowed to sell their famous corsets and leather vest apparel? Why? To what purpose?

A brand new building tucked away by 3 Sheets to the Wind tavern houses only…lottery games? At the Renaissance faire?

And where was the music? Where were all the beautiful minstrels and dancers? Where were the plucky tunes and velvet strings, the belly dancers with their glittering garb and alluring eyes?

There is something dangerously political afoot, and it’s leaving a grim impression upon the patrons of the faire. We could forgive all the prices going up. We’re more than happy to support this 30 acre patch of magic! But too many unhealthy changes is akin to a blood cancer. It’s movement is untraceable, and one can only guess where next it will rear it’s ugly head.

We will continue to support Bristol. But I fear the lasting effects of these changes. In our humble opinion, all the money for those lotto machines and buildings should have gone to improve the tilt yard. The jousters have long since struggled with poor sound equipment and faulty electrical connections. One would think the biggest attraction should deserve the best equipment.

One would think so…

This has been,

Piratess Fanny T. Crispin