Category: Raw

Mind & Body, Raw

Obligatory Holiday Post

FanTC

It’s been a pretty good season so far, and now as we reflect on the last day before the end of celebration, we pay closer attention to the important things.

Was I kind in the shopping stores?

Did I keep my temper in check?

Have we instilled love and peace into our children?

Do we care not what we get, but whom we’re with?

There have been some pitfalls this year which took a toll on my trust levels. Every day is a chance to experience and learn about human behavior. It’s not always pretty. I’m learning it is not my responsibility to remedy or attempt to coach someone else’s struggles. It’s taking a step back, realizing I am not the mother of the world, and knowing they will be held responsible for their actions.

This year has also been a test of boundaries. I remind myself boundaries had been placed for a purpose, and I am allowed to set them back in place if they teeter or fall. One wants to trust, but one is not obligated to trust.

While I excitedly enjoy all the festivities of this holiday season, I process the pitfalls carefully. In one hand, I do not want to become angry and bitter again, but on the other, I do not have to experience hurt at another human’s hand (or word or deed.) I am allowed to experience peace and forgiveness. I am allowed to fortify barriers and seek protection.

Be blessed, dear reader, and Merry Christmas.

This has been,

Fanny T. Crispin

Raw

Needs vs Wants

FanTC

If high school taught me anything, it’s that I don’t need anyone.

RAW

That moment when your author pours her heart out on social media, letting spill a wellspring of emotions and speculations, tangent thoughts, claiming verbs, and resonates so acutely with the reader, the universe weeps.

I’m just not that kind of author, I guess.

Something you may be able to relate to is I was occasionally bullied as a child. I think most people are in some fashion or another. I was ugly and ignorant and not very interesting to the general public girl (or boy, for that matter.)

It always hurt to be excluded from activities. It’s something you can’t force. A teacher can’t make the other kids like you. It just doesn’t work that way. Inviting yourself just turns the whole event sour.

I have found my tribe over the years. We’re a select group of silly individuals. Some of us believe in fairies, some in sports. Some of us are writers, some are tv bingers, but we’re all dreamers. We’ve connected in a judgement-free zone.

Something happened at my day job. It’s been going on for awhile and triggered some deep rooted isolation in my soul. I still feel like that middle schooler some days. And isolation still hurts the same as it did back then.

I don’t need anyone, but I still want to feel included.

This has been,

Fanny

Raw, Thoughts

KUWTJ – It’s Okay. They’re Already Dead.

FanTC

“What’s on your mind?” Facebook asks nearly every time we get together. I refrain from responding, because Facebook should already know how much I utterly despise its presence. Still, it can be useful on occasion, so I tolerate it lingering about.

It’s a Wednesday in the Andersen household. Not much going on for a Wednesday. We went to Bdubs for their all- you- can- eat wings, only to discover our particular chain wasn’t supporting said advertisement. A crying shame. Post- dinner, we watched an episode of Firefly which is always so tragically bittersweet for me. Like having dinner with a friend one last time before they’re shipped away. Forever. Never to return.

Of course, there’s like 15 episodes, so dinner 15 times plus thematic theme music…

As I was saying, not much going on for a Wednesday night.

Tomorrow boasts too many chores and adult-y responsibilities, and I recall to mind my favorite verse: Don’t be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious about itself. Sufficient is the day and it’s worries.

So we put away our planners and have dinner with friends intending to leave us. Today we will worry about today. Tomorrow we shall see.

“Keep us, O God, for the sea is so big and our ships are so little.”

Leave no stone unturned and never stop until you have arrived.

This has been,

Fan T. C.

Raw, Thoughts

KUWTJ – Bed Troubles

FanTC

In another episode of what I like to call “Keeping Up With The Jones,” I share a bit of drama of newlywed life.

In other news pertaining to recently married life, the cat is taking her new only-child life quite well. Our concern was unfounded since her earlier skittishness was actually due to the freakish number of storms we’ve had in recent days. Not to worry. She understands the safety protocol in the event of severe weather and takes up shelter beneath the stair well.

While her human mother might sleep straight through a tornado, at least the cat will be safe.

The house is beginning to once again resemble a home (although I’ve been informed by the husband that it was really more like a batchelorette pad before.) We’ve been anxiously awaiting the mattress to our brand new bed. Sleeping on the support boards of the frame is getting old, to say the least.

I kid. We have a twin mattress. Fortunately, we’re small people. But Hubby has been known to have been elbowed (quite unintentionally, I assure you) in his sleep. Maybe if he would quit sleeping on my hair, he wouldn’t be so rudely disturbed…

Life is good if you remember that you don’t need castles and fancy plates to make your life happy. We’re enjoying decorating the cozy duplex. There’s a fire pit (sadly drowning) in the front yard. If you see a light, please stop by and pull up a chair. I’m sure we’ll have cold beer or at least a glass of wine to share.

Leave no stone unturned and never stop until you’ve arrived.

This has been,

Fan T. C.

Raw

Let’s Celebrate

FanTC

Guess what, folks.

I’m getting married tomorrow.

If you drink, have a toast with me.

You can use grape juice. Or lemonade. They make all sorts of sparkling waters these days too.

Anyway, this will be my last night as a bachelorette, and I couldn’t be happier.

This has been,

Fanny T. Crispin