Raw

Can I Write About This?

Can I write about my up-coming wedding preparations on my tutorial blog? Is that acceptable to you guys? I have to ask, because I don’t want to bother anyone with my silly, stressful, and agonizing personal details when you come here to read about writing or books or fantasies.

To be honest, I feel like I’m living a fantasy right now – and I’m stuck in the bad part of the story.

I knew planning a wedding would be emotional, stressful, and frustrating. I knew little things would go wrong along the way. I knew life would be messy and complicated and RAW like it typically is, but part of me…kind of wanted to experience a little heaven-on-earth perfection.

But let’s face it, my wedding was never going to be that easy because my fiance wants the big, white dress wedding…and I do not. In fact, I want to elope. However, I love my man, and life is not about me. It’s about us.

So here we are with a year to go and nothing planned. 

Turns out, finding a venue is the single most difficult part of wedding planning.

Who knew this would be so hard.

Let’s all be honest. I’m no best selling author. I’m as broke as you are as I sit on a hand-me-down couch writing this blog on a phone that came with a $40 rebate because – guess what – it’s not name brand. So trying to find a venue that meets our individual specifications and fits within our budget is extremely frustrating. In fact, I’m ashamed to admit I completely pushed the blame on my loving fiance in a fit of emotional breakdowns. But we’re still together! Thank God. I am NOT as patient and understanding as he is.

This weekend we have a tight schedule to look at some venues. Every time I see the price tags, I can feel myself hyperventilating (I need to start carrying around a paper bag.) 

I just want this to be done. I know when we finally nail this project, we can look forward to the less-intense-but-still-important tasks of writing invitations and registering for gifts. We can finally start preparing.

GW (fiance) keeps reminding me that it will work out the way it’s supposed to, despite all obsticles. I used to believe that. I guess I don’t trust the process as much as I thought I would.

I think life is a series of pop quizzes we all get jumped with. There’s no way to prepare for what the teacher is going to ask. You can only hope you were paying attention up to this point.

That’s where I’m at, folks. Step one…of the rest of my life.

This has been,

Fanny T. Crispin

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