Raw

Living Cycles

I was wondering why I have such a hard time connecting with women in my church community. They’re cheerful, interesting, bubbly personalities I’m sure I would enjoy knowing. The realization crept up on me one day and caught me by surprise.

They’re all part of young families with children. I’m married too now, so that should bridge the gap at least a little closer, but it’s not enough. It’s not that I dislike young children – heaven forbid – but it’s a continual reminder I’m always one step behind the curve.

Get married, buy a house, have babies. My goals were not that ambitious as a little girl. I never had big dreams for my life. I intuitively followed a social curve which I think catches the majority in its wake. Since becoming an adult, I have done some pretty incredible stuff. I’m happy with how my life turned out. I’m learning not to rush the good things. But I still struggle being around married women with young children. They have something I’ve wanted for a very long time. Inevitably, someone says something to the effect of “Just wait until you have babies!” And I’m reminded once again I’m two steps behind them always.

Besides, if I need littlies time, I have two fantastic nephews to love on. They will have to fill the void for now.

This has been,

Fanny T. Crispin